Holidays can bring on the blues for those of us who are empty nesters. It’s natural to feel a void when our grown kids begin to shape their own holiday traditions. Once, we were in the center of it all, and now, as we take our place on the sidelines, sadness is natural. I remember how exciting this season was as a young mom of daughters. I had the freedom to explore “new” ways of celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas as an adult. For Christmas, instead of the traditional tinsel of my growing-up years, I bought ornaments that were sentimental to my girls. Sometimes the theme was purple; other times, pink. You might find Rapunzel and Mulan side by side on our tree in an imaginary gesture of friendship. There were many special memories unique to our family unit.
Funny—I never thought about how my own parents (or grandparents) must have felt sitting on the sidelines as spectators to my new horizon. I can visualize their smiles beaming as they watched my children’s eyes light up with squeals of joy on Christmas morning. Perhaps, in letting go of some of their own traditions, they were giving me a gift I hadn’t realized at the time—allowing me the freedom to personalize holiday traditions for my young, budding family. Of course, basking in the magic of Christmas cheer without having all the responsibilities has its perks as a grandparent, too.
Nevertheless, something about seasons changing hands and the baton being passed (even in the best ways) can make the heart to become painfully aware of loss and time. For this reason, we might want to consider cultivating a few special traditions at this time of life—just for us. After all, being over 50 holds unique opportunities.
This sentiment is what inspired Next is Now (a community for women over 50). Community and fellowship in our age demographic are important because, although we may experience change differently, we all have those dreadful thoughts that tell us our best years are behind us. They indeed were good years, but the truth is that we are still here and very much alive. We need to remind each other and spur one another on. With fewer responsibilities at this time of life, we have the freedom to experience adventures with a newfound sense of wonder. Those thoughts we had years ago about someday—when I have time—have arrived; hence the wording—Next is Now. The Holidays are a great way to explore this new reality.
What can we do to bring new adventures to the table? It might be as simple as specialty food selection and evening eggnog with a few friends—perhaps Christmas caroling. There may be old traditions that you miss from your own childhood that you miss and could be re-ignited. I remember a holly tree my parents had one year. Ever since then, holly has held a special place in my heart. I have a holly bush in the front yard and plan to throw a few lights on it. I love the scent of pine, so I bought a diffuser to fill the house with Christmas aroma and music.
This season is also a good time to consider new traditions and adventures that might be exciting to explore and incorporate into the future. For instance, I have never been to an actual “tree farm” where you pick and chop down your own tree (or have an attendant chop it down for you). This will be a delight to try this year. I googled tree farms near me and was surprised to find several spots. How enchanting this will be with a few friends.
Sure, I will be the first one to the sidelines with my beautiful kids and grandkids. And if it’s my turn to host the family gathering, I’m all in! But even more—fun and adventure await us in our season over 50. And the best part is our grown kids will delight in seeing us thrive.
Spiritual inspiration and encouragement for women over 50—
Chack out Over Fifty & Fabulous
The Grand Times 